short story

“You’re outside?! Okay, okay I’m getting ready. I’m coming I’m coming! Bye!” Dana shouted at the phone as she rushed down the stairs from her room the door. “Dad, gimme money!! I’m going out with my friends.”

Dana said to her dad as she changed from her sneakers to her uggs.

“Uh... please would be nice?” he replied back.

“Ha-ha. Yeah, whatever.” She chuckled.

“Dad, give me money! I’m going to be late, why are you acting stupid?” Dana shouted back at her dad.

“Say please and ask nicely. What happened to my good old Dana that was so sweet?” Dana’s dad asked. “Dana, I don’t know what’s gotten into you lately, but frankly, I don’t like it. If you ask nicely, we wouldn’t be having this problem; you should learn how to respect your parents a little more. This will get you nowhere in life.” Dad lectured back at her.

Dana gave her dad the dirtiest look in the world and said, “Dad, does it look like I care? Let alone, listening to you? Just give me money and we’ll both be on our way… now!”

“Young lady, I don’t like your tone with me.” Her dad said getting more and more annoyed with Dana by the second as he sat down on the big chair in the living room. “Dad, I DON’T CARE! Give me money, now!” Dana shouted.

“That’s it. Get up to your room, you’re not going anywhere!” Dad roared back. “Ha-ha, good one. Like you’re really going to stop me, and besides Laurens already here, so I don’t care. I’ll tell her to pay for me and then I’ll pay her back so whatever. Peace dad!” Dana said as she tried opening the door as her dad held it as well.

“Young lady, you are not going anywhere! Understand? Go upstairs!”

Dana’s dad said as he began to get ticked off with Dana’s attitude. “NO! I’m going out with my friends! Leave me alone!” Dana cried.

Lauren called Dana’s phone and it began ringing. She saw Dana and her father fighting and Dana crying.

“Dad, leave me alone! My phone is ringing!” Dana shouted as she tried to pull back from her father while tears began rolling down her eyes.

Dana’s dad pulled the phone out of her hand and picked up.

“Hello?”

“Hi, Mr. Barry? I’m here to pick up Dana. Could you please tell her to come outside? We’re going to be late.” Lauren said in a low voice sounding a bit confused.

“I’m sorry, but I don’t think Dana will be allowed out tonight.” he said as he held Dana’s hand from her to reach the phone. “She’s going to be too busy doing nothing tonight. Sorry for the inconvenience. Good bye Lauren.” Dana’s dad said as he shut the door. Lauren drove away confused.

“Wow dad, you’re cool now. Do you think you’re so cool by telling my friend that I have no respect for you guys? I’m so proud of you.” Dana said in a sarcastic voice. “Go Die.” She mumbled.

“What did you say?” Dana’s dad said in a low voice. “Go die? You’re joking right? Get out! Get out of this house… right now! I give you everything you want and you still have no respect. Not you, your mother or anyone in this stupid household. I work my but off and you still couldn’t care less! Get Out! Here take all the money in the world… here, have 500 dollars! See if I care. JUST GET OUT AND DON’T COME BACK!

summerr =)

proud poem <3

A day at the beach

What could be more fun?

A day at the beach

Soaking up in the sun

The salt water hits my burnt skin as I step into the water

The waves’ kissing my feet as the water splashes everywhere

A whisper of wind sways back and forth all along the coast

The sun trying to throw rays at my back

Sand is sandwiched between my toes and seashells flying all over the place

Surfers riding the waves

Little kids building sand castles

A day at the beach

What could be more fun?

A day at the beach

Soaking up in the sun

poemm/photostoryyy <3

Summer

The cool breeze stroking my hair
Little kids running around everywhere
The raging hot sun approaching down on my back
As I step all over the pretty lilacs
My feet get damp from the morning dew,
The icky things stuck to my feet like glue
People are jumping in their pools
Jumping and diving in like fools
I love everything about summer
When it’s over, its going to be a bummer <3

Proposal

For the rest of my time in creative writing, I think I’m going to write a new short story. My first one wasn’t very good, so I will probably end up writing a new one. If I don’t write my short story, I think I’m going to write a poem and make a photo story out of it. This project will probably take me a week and 1/2 to complete. I’ll add lots of pictures along with the poem, to make it more eye-catching.

villanellleee

Nature is a beautiful scene

Nature is a beautiful scene
the sun so bright and the sky blue
every time I step out, it is so green

I look outside and see so many different things
The sun looking down on the morning dew
Nature is a beautiful scene

The birds flying so high using their wings

The neighborhood

Plenty of houses
Some big houses, some small
All very different
One
S
T
E
E
P
Hill

Going
D
O
W
N
W
A
R
D

Kids playing basketball in their driveways,
Little children riding bikes as their parents follow after.

Old citizens walking their dogs down the

S
T
E
E
P
Hill

People going on long jogs
Cars P A S S I N G by
Some big cars, some small
All very different
Welcome to my neighborhood

Spring [Nature Poem]

Spring

The morning sun beaming down on us like a big ball of fire
the cotton candy like clouds passing by us
The green grass touching making my feet from the morning dew,
The huge tree trunks towering over us as if they are giants
The dandelions on the ground swaying back and forth from the tiny breeze
as the little florets fly away
The thunderous roar of the buses and cars coming in and out
of the school parking lot
The different colored leaves wandering around the school
falling one by one all over the place

Since There Is No Escape by Sara Teasdale

Since there is no escape, since at the end
My body will be utterly destroyed,
This hand I love as I have loved a friend,
This body I tended, wept with and enjoyed;
Since there is no escape even for me
Who love life with a love too sharp to bear:
The scent of orchards in the rain, the sea
And hours alone too still and sure for prayer—
Since darkness waits for me, then all the more
Let me go down as waves sweep to the shore
In pride, and let me sing with my last breath;
In these few hours of light I lift my head;
Life is my lover—I shall leave the dead
If there is any way to baffle death.

Winter by Marie Ponsot

I don’t know what to say to you, neighbor,
as you shovel snow from your part of our street
neat in your Greek black. I’ve waited for
chance to find words; now, by chance, we meet.


We took our boys to the same kindergarten,
thirteen years ago when our husbands went.
Both boys hated school, dropped out feral, dropped in
to separate troubles. You shift snow fast, back bent,
but your boy killed himself, six days dead.


My boy washed your wall when the police were done.
He says, “We weren’t friends?” and shakes his head,
“I told him it was great he had that gun,”
and shakes. I shake, close to you, close to you.
You have a path to clear, and so you do.

What is Poetry?

Poetry is a form of writing. It’s a different type of writing. There are many different styles of poetry. Some rhyme, some don’t rhyme. Some have beats, some don’t have beats. Some poems can be short and others can be pages long. It is a way of expressing something or someone. There are many different types of poems such as hymns, lyrics and haiku poems. Some poems are written for expressing an emotion while others can be expressing ideas in a collection of words which often has some tempo and/or beat.

intro to creative writing! (:

Hi.. My name is Rene. I’m 15 years old. I’m 5`1, yes I know I’m short and have light brown eyes. I love hanging out with my friends, going shopping, listening to music and having fun. I’m overly obsessed with Chris Brown. I think he is amazing and I love him to death!  When you first meet me, I’m really quiet but then once you get to know me you won’t hear the end of me. I signed up for this class because I stink at writing. English is one of my worst subjects, and I hope I get better at it soon. My favorite types of writing are poems, and reflection essays. Yeah, I know…who likes to write essays? But I think writing reflection essays are fun because you get to express what you thought could be fixed and what you’re doing wrong or right in your piece. I like to experiment with short stories, even though I’m horrible at writing them. I absolutely hate writing sumamries and book reports. They are so boring and they kill my mood. I love reading books I can relate to though. My favorite books are If You Come Softly by Jacqueline Woodson and The Pact by Jodi Picoult. I’m excitefd to be in this class because I want tot see how I have progressed from the beginning of the year, till now. That’s all for now… peaceeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

poem

Elephants =)



I love elephants oh so much

I wish I had one even though

they don’t have a light touch.

People say elephants are mean

But I think elephants are so clean.

They favorite foods are jelly beans

But I think that’s just in their genes.

I wish I could go to a safari

But whenever I ask my parents

They always say sorry!

When I go to sleep, I dream

of riding an elephant.

But then I end up gliding off my bed.

I love elephants oh so much

I wish I had one even though

they don’t have a light touch.

Reflection

I thought my story wasn’t the best it could’ve been. When we began writing stories, I had no clue to write about so I just started writing about the first thing that came to my mind and I went on from there. My whole story went really fast and wasn’t very original. I could’ve made the plot a little better too by adding more facts and more details so the story wouldn’t be too rushed. Also, I thought that I should have included more background info as to why she got so mad that her boyfriend was talking to another girl and how her and Ashley became friends. I thought my beginning was a strong start, but as it got to the middle and towards the end, it went downhill from there.
After reading everyone’s comments, I think I am going to add more details on Bobby and their relationship. I am also going to fix the end of my story because it seems too real and I think it needs a twist to it. I might also take out the part where Ashley says that she doesn’t want to talk to Bobby because it seems like I am portraying Ashley as a bad friend, which is what I don’t want to do. I will also describe her friendship with Ashley a little more as well. Another thing is that I’m going to explain why she doesn’t like Vanessa and what happened between them. My story has a lot of editing, adding and revising to do.

How To Become A Writer - Response :)

1. I think the whole story being told in the second person view is kind of annoying. It doesn't really work out well because it gets kind of confusing. She talks about how she was in her English class in high school with HER teacher named Mr. Killian but she is the one who had him as a teacher, not us, so the whole concept of the story being told in the second person point of view is kind of annoying.


2. My two favorite parts would have to be …

I. As a child psychology major, you have some electives. You've always liked birds. Sign up for something called "The Ornithological Field Trip." It meets Tuesdays and Thursdays at two. When you arrive at Room 134 on the first day of class, everyone is sitting around a seminar table talking about metaphors. You've heard of these. After a short, excruciating while, raise your hand and say diffidently, "Excuse me, isn't this Bird-watching One-oh-one?" The class stops and turns to look at you. They seem to all have one face--giant and blank as a vandalized clock. Someone with a beard booms out, "No, this is Creative Writing." Say: "Oh--right," as if perhaps you knew all along. Look down at your schedule. Wonder how the hell you ended up here. The computer, apparently, has made an error. You start to get up to leave and then don't.

I like this part because if I was in her position I would have done the same thing as well. I would have walked in the wrong room, asked what class this is and would’ve have been like “Oh, right” as well. I also would have just stayed there too, just so I wouldn’t look like an idiot in front of everyone.

II. Write a short story about an elderly man and woman who accidentally shoot each other in the head, the result of an inexplicable malfunction of a shotgun which appears mysteriously in their living room one night. Give it to Mr. Killian as your final project. When you get it back, he has written on it: "Some of your images are quite nice, but you have no sense of plot." When you are home, in the privacy of your own room, faintly scrawl in pencil beneath his black-inked comments: "Plots are for dead people, pore-face."


I like this part as well because I can relate to this too. I’m not the best writer, so whenever I hand in something for English, my teachers have always told me to keep adding more and more when I don’t know what more to write.


3. I think Lorrie Moore is trying to say that you can write about anything you want as long as it is creative. I know this because in her story, she is writing about random stuff, but it capture’s the reader’s attention which shows the story is interesting.

Mudlavia

1. Some conflicts in the story are that …

• The boy’s knee is hurt. He has to go to some treatment spa in Indiana called Mudlavia.
• He finds out that his dad is cheating on his mom.
• His mom runs away.
• He has to get his leg removed because he has a problem in his knee.
2. I crawled underneath the bed and curled up in a ball. Mother finally found me there when she came in. "My God!" she said. "What's happened?" She kneeled in front of the bed, sounding satisfyingly terrified.

This quote shows that his mom wasn’t very caring because she was to busy talking to somebody else even though her son was in pain.

“You sure?" he kept asking me. "She didn't talk to any men?"
I never mentioned Harry Jones to anyone. I told myself that I was keeping our secret, and that Mother wouldn't have wanted me to blab, but that was only part of it. Harry Jones seemed like a fantasy, a figment of our imagination, and I didn't want to expose him to the harsh light of conventional Lafayette. Besides, she could've gone anywhere, with anyone.
"None?" my father said again. "No men at all?"
This quote shows that his mom and dad are not trust worthy. His dad kept asking if his mom was talking to any men. Also, while they were away at Mudlavia, Dottie wrote a letter saying he saw his dad with his cousin in Indianapolis and how she is a stylish lady. This also shows how the dad isn’t trustworthy either.

3. She created suspense in the story by adding lots of details and being real specific.
4. “You sure?" he kept asking me. "She didn't talk to any men?"
I never mentioned Harry Jones to anyone. I told myself that I was keeping our secret, and that Mother wouldn't have wanted me to blab, but that was only part of it. Harry Jones seemed like a fantasy, a figment of our imagination, and I didn't want to expose him to the harsh light of conventional Lafayette. Besides, she could've gone anywhere, with anyone.
"None?" my father said again. "No men at all?"

This part is a strong part because it shows how the parents are very trustworthy. It ties the story together because after this part, the mother ends up running away.

In the late summer I always remember Mudlavia, and not with any bad feelings. I remember the gurgling fountain and the hollyhocks, the wide porch, the soggy baked Alaska. Buster saying, in his southern drawl, "Relax and get well." Harry whispering, "This place is a con game." I remember lying beneath the mud, soaking it up, the stillness and the smell and the flies buzzing, forgetting myself, forgetting that I was even a human being with all the worries and vanities and self-deception that go along with it, and I think that if I could've stayed there forever, buried in mud, I might've had a happy life, instead of simply a good one.

This part of the story is a strong part to because it sums up basically what goes on in Mudlavia. The last sentence showed that he didn’t really like Mudlavia and that it didn’t help him with his knee problem.

short story

First Draft; Short Story

“I’m coming, I’m coming!” I said rushing out of the house. “Hurry up you slowpoke! My mom’s waiting in the car!” Ashley said screaming at me on the phone as I put my Uggs on. As I barely finished putting my Ugg’s on, I glanced in the mirror quickly and ran out of the house with my cell phone in one hand and my coach bag in the other.
“Bye mom!” I shouted at the top of my lungs right before the door shut behind me. It was 3:56 P.M, really sunny outside but kind of chilly. Ashley and I were going to the mall, how we did once a month. Just us two so we could catch up on what was going on in our lives. The thing was that Ashley and I both lived in different neighborhoods and we both went to different schools. Ashley used to go to my school but then she had to move. Thank god it wasn’t that far though. We had been best friends since the 2nd grade, basically sisters. Every month, we would hang out at the mall and catch up on each other lives. I would tell her about my boyfriend, Bobby and she would tell me about how she had a huge crush on some guy at her school named Spencer.
Bobby and I had been together for about 8 months. I wouldn’t say we were in love, but we were getting there. Bobby was a year older than me, but we went to the same school. Him and Ashley had been good friends too, so it was all perfect. As we were in the car with Jane, Ashley’s mom she was talking to me and asking how my family and everything in my life was.
“How’s school?” she said while the radio was playing behind her voice.
“Good, but it would be better if Ashley was back here though.” I said in sarcastic voice. For a few minutes, there was a silence.
“Well girls, tell me when you want me to pick you up. Have fun!” Jane said right before we jumped out of the car.
Right when we walked into the mall, we went to the usual stores … in order, Abercrombie & Fitch, Dylan’s Candy Bar, Hollister, Wild Pair and Forever 21 and then we would go eat lunch and grab us some tall double chocolate chip frappachino’s from Starbucks.
As we walked by Haagan Daz, I would think of Bobby because I knew he always loved it. While we were walking by the ice cream store I saw a boy that looked just like Bobby smiling as he talked to a girl. I couldn’t really see the face so I moved closer and … my worst nightmare had came true. It was Bobby and he was talking to another girl, smiling and laughing. Not only was that some girl, it was Vanessa Robins. My enemy. We hated each other the first day we made eye contact. I couldn’t stand that girl being in my presence.
But all the joy that was taken off my face, was on his. I dropped my frappachino and ran away. Ashley, following behind me trying to catch up to my speed kept saying, “…Calm down! It’s probably a misunderstanding. Trust me, everything will be okay.”
So many thoughts went through my mind as I ran toward the bathroom.
What did I do to deserve this? Is this revenge for something I did? I didn’t know what to think. Everything was so confusing. As I shut the stall door in Ashley’s face, weeping to myself she ran outside and began to search for Bobby… and that other girl.
“What are you talking about?! I didn’t talk to any girl! She was talking to us! I was with Mike and Jon!” Bobby said screaming at Ashley’s face.
“Why were you talking her Bobby?!” Ashely said screaming back.
“You know she hates Vanessa!”
“Where is she?! This is ridiculous!” Bobby said walking away.
I was watching this behind the window of Abercrombie. The whole fight, going back and forth and back and forth.
“She obviously doesn’t want to talk to you!” Ashley said.
I kept thinking… YES I DO! WHAT IS SHE SAYING! OF COURSE I WANT TO TALK TO HIM!
* * *

Right when I got home, I had about 17 missed calls and 9 new text messages and 2 voicemails. But I didn’t respond, there was no point. It wasn’t the fact that he was talking to a girl. It just bothered me that he knew I didn’t like her, yet he still talked to her. If he was yelling at her, I wouldn’t care … but he was laughing and smiling which made the whole situation a lot worse. It was 9:00 P.M and I was in bed because I was in the worst mood possible. I didn’t want to talk to anybody. I hated everyone and everything.
The next morning I woke up around 11:30 AM. I had about 14 texts and 5 missed calls. I went downstairs, made myself breakfast. My mom and dad were at work and my brother was at school. I didn’t know what to do so I went to the dining room and began watching TV. Nothing good was on. Could this day get any worse?!
At about 1:56 P.M I had received a text message from Bobby. It said…

“I’m sorry for everything I did, it was all a big misunderstanding. Please open your door. I hope you forgive me.”
I opened the front door and their lie and huge teddy bear, at least 4 ½ feet tall, with a box of chocolates and a card. Right when I saw it, I gasped. I opened the card and it said…

Rene –
Whatever happened the other day, was a big misunderstanding. That girl started talking to me. Mike, John and I were laughing at her, not smiling with her. I’m sorry you took everything the wrong way. I meant no harm in hurting you.
I hope you accept this and forget about the whole thing.
With love,
Bobby 

As I read this, little tears began to roll down my eyes. My heart was finally at a normal pace and I had a huge grin on my face. I was so relieved that nothing bad had happened between Bobby and I. I walked in the house with a huge teddy bear and chocolates up to my room. A few minutes later, someone rang the door bell. It was Bobby with 12 roses in his hand.
“Forgive me?” he said in a soft voice.
I ran up to him and gave him the biggest hug ever.

intro

2:35 P.M. The school bell rings and all you hear are people talking louder than ever, the shuffling of papers and the pitter patter of everyone running and walking out of school because today was Friday, the Friday before Spring Break. As I walked home, with my two best friends since 4th grade, Nicole and Kristi we talked about what we were doing over break and how Nicole was going to Mexico and Kristi was going on a cruise to Jamaica and I wasn’t going anywhere. I was fine with staying home, but knowing that my best friends weren’t going to be here was really annoying. As we walked to my house like we did every Friday, we saw Megan, Jen, Rachel and Sabrina in Sabrina’s car with her mom going to Sabrina’s house. I knew where Sabrina lived because she was my neighbor; those four girls were the most popular girls in our grade. Kristi, Nicole and I called them the Fab Four. They weren’t actually called that but we just called them that. Sabrina and I used to be friends in 2nd grade up to 5th grade but as we got to middle school, things changed. Anyways, the Fab Four… they had everything, the pretty faces, the nice bodies, the clothes and everything.